


Do You Know Your Enemy?

by Echan23



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: F/M, Female Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Galra Keith (Voltron), Gen, How Do I Tag, Hurt/Comfort, It turned into a lot, M/M, Multi, POV Alternating, Slow Burn, Takes place around the same time as season two, We've got some fluff now, a little angsty, might turn into a lot, ok it's very angsty
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-26
Updated: 2017-01-26
Packaged: 2018-08-17 09:38:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 11,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8139328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Echan23/pseuds/Echan23
Summary: Keith does not appreciate turning purple





	1. If I Lose Myself

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: If I Lose Myself by OneRepubic  
>  _You can feel the light start to tremble/ washing what you know out to sea/ You can see your life out of the window tonight_

“Keith!” “Keith, get up!” “No! Keith!” “Let him go!” 

A shout and a clang. “Keith!”

A cackling laugh.

Keith groaned and tried to focus. His mind felt sluggish, his vision tilting. He vaguely registered his team mates on the other side of a purple-ish particle barrier, all yelling and banging against it. He blinked hard to clear his thoughts. A face, no, a mask, appeared in front of him.  
“It is time for you to realize your potential” they hissed. _What…_

They raised their hands and a ball of purple-black energy shot toward him, coursing through his body. It felt like his blood turned to fire, his nerves to lightning. He heard screaming, later realizing was coming from himself.

It hurt so much. 

His vision blurred and he saw the room sideways. The figure in the mask raised their arms and the barrier dissolved. The other paladins rushed forward right as the figure vanished, just avoiding Shiro’s lit hand.

Hunk and Pidge appeared above him, saying something he couldn’t hear. Then Lance and Shiro were there too. Two fingers pressed against his neck and Shiro shouted something, looking over his shoulder. 

The next thing Keith knew he was being carried. Going by how one arm was cold and hard it was Shiro. Lance was ahead of them, blasting away at enemy troops. Pidge was going at it more to one side. Yellow flashes told him Hunk wasn’t far behind. In the distance the castle gleamed in all its glory, waiting for them. 

“Hang on, buddy” Shiro said, his voice sounding far away. Then Keith blacked out.

“Oh no, is he all right?” Allura’s voice brought him back to consciousness. 

“We don’t know, he just-” Shiro stopped as Keith groaned and opened his eyes.

_Why was everyone staring at him?_ Even the mice were sitting on Allura’s shoulder.

“What’s going on?” He mumbled and Hunk let out a sigh of relief, smiling nervously. “Well-”

“Dude you really had us worried-” Pidge interrupted, and Allura ran over her.

“How are you feeling?”

He slowly sat up, with the help of many hands, before answering. “Uh, fine actually…”  
It was true. He only felt a little tired and dizzy, all the burning discomfort gone.

“How can you be fine? You just had some serious voodoo laid on you bro!” Lance blurted in classic Lance fashion. 

Keith blinked, confused. “Huh?” 

Coran helped him out. “He means you might have been shocked, or cursed, or something, by that Druid.”

“Huh?!”

“He means you’ll be fine Keith, just take it easy” Shiro said with a sigh.

_Huh._

Keith thought back to the mission. Storming the Galra battlement, kicking butt until a couple of witch psychos show up. His memory got a bit fuzzy after that. Getting captured, the team rushing in to save him…

“Well that mission was a bust.”

Everyone sighed and Hunk said “More like a complete disaster.”

“Cheer up everyone,” Allura put in, ever the optimist. “At least everyone made it back in one piece and no lions got captured. It could have been a lot worse.” 

There was a chorus of “Yeah” “I guess” “That’s true” “Good point” and “You’re right” Shiro turned to the group, hands on his hips, all leader.

“Good work today team, even it didn’t go that smooth. We tried our best and that’s good for something. You’ve all earned a rest and some food.” 

Coran’s ear twitched. “Maybe I could be of assistance for that last one.”

There was a group-wide groan. 

“That’s okay Coran, I’ll just whip something up later.” said Hunk and everyone relaxed. Except Coran, who looked slightly offended.

Keith got to his feet as everyone filtered out of the room, chatting or yawning depending on their energy level. Shiro appeared at his elbow, a concerned dad look on his face. “You sure you’re okay?” 

“I’m fine, Shiro, don’t worry. Just a little tired” Keith answered with a little eye roll. Who needs parents when you have Shiro.

He gave a small smile and patted Keith’s shoulder. “Get some sleep then. Who knows when we’ll have another mission.”

_Hopefully not anytime soon_ Keith thought and made his way to his room. 

While he was taking off his paladin suit he noticed something. There was a purple blotch on the nape of his neck. It didn’t hurt or feel any different, it was just there. 

“Hm, weird” he said out loud but he was too tired to think much of it. With a shrug he dropped onto his bed and was soon asleep. 

It felt like only minutes before a knock of his door woke him. “Keith, Hunk’s got some food goo down in the mess hall, want some?” Came Pidge’s voice. She sounded about as awake as Keith felt. She must’ve taken a nap too. 

He yawned and got up, stretching. “Sure, I’m coming.” He shoved his feet into his boots and put on his jacket, not bothering with the rest of his gear. His nap had left him quite hungry.

Pidge was waiting for him, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes under her glasses. “Damn if I wasn’t so hungry I would just keep sleeping.”

Keith nodded in agreement. “Even food goo sounds good.” 

Pidge glanced at his ungloved hand. “Hey, did you hurt your hand?” Keith realized there was a streak of purple peeking out from under his sleeve, almost like a bruise. 

But he knew better.

He quickly shoved his hand into his pocket. “Uh yeah, it’s just a bruise.” He didn’t have time to think about it though. 

“Incoming!’’ someone yelled from behind them and they both jumped out of the way as Lance barreled past them, Shiro hot on his tail. 

“What the-” Keith and Pidge chorused and followed apprehensively. 

In the mess hall Shiro had Lance in a headlock, the latter screeching for mercy. Allura was scolding them both. Keith and Pidge looked at Hunk, standing idly by, for an explanation. 

“Lance caught Shiro sleeping” he giggled and watched their jaws drop.

It was long assumed Shiro just didn’t sleep. The other paladins were constantly trying to catch him at it, to no avail. This was a big deal. Eventually Allura pulled the two apart and everyone settled down.

“Well?” Keith asked quietly when Lance sat down. 

“He looked like an angel when he’s asleep” Lance whispered back. Keith bit back a laugh, which earned them a glare from Shiro. They both feigned more interest than usual in their food.

Lance suddenly gasped and reached for Keith’s hand. “Dude what did you do to your hand?”

Keith was just fast enough to swipe it out of sight before he could grab him. “Nothing, just a bruise.”

“That’s one hell of a bruise, man. You should get it looked at.”

Keith tried his best to pull his sleeve down over his hand. It was almost as if the spot grew… This was getting weird. “It’s fine.”

Lance noticed something else and gasped again. “Wait, you’re not wearing your emo gloves!” 

_“Excuse me?”_ Keith spat but Lance was rambling. 

“You _never_ take off your gloves. I didn’t even think you _washed_ them. Like they were fused to you. What made you take them off?” 

Keith groaned. “If it means so much to you, I’ll put them back on, just to shut you up.” _And see what’s up with my hand_ he thought.

Lance threw up his hands indifferently. “Whatever man, look like an emo Macgyver if you want.” 

“I will hurt you, Lance.” Keith shoved down the rest of his food and stood up to leave. “Thanks for the eats, Hunk.” 

“Sure thing”

Lance was still trying to figure out something to say back at Keith.

Back in the comfort of his room, Keith stared at his hand. The purple streak had spread from the back of his hand up his arm farther than he could roll up the sleeve. Really creeped out now, he yanked off his jacket and shirt, and made a small surprised noise. 

_Not_ a squeak, definitely not a squeak, but equally surprised. There were purple streaks and blotches all over him, shoulders, arms, stomach, back, everywhere. 

Keith stared at his wide eyed reflection in the mirror in front of him. “What’s happening…?” he whispered.

He really hoped we wasn’t dying of some alien skin cancer. He debated whether or not to tell Allura, Coran, or maybe Shiro. Someone to help. 

No, he decided, he would handle this himself. 

But it only grew worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is my first fic on here, hopefully it's not too bad  
> This was really fun for me to binge-write, abeit a big mess to edit. But now there's a bunch of chapters waiting to be posted so yay  
> Thanks for reading and stay tuned for another chapter (hopefully) later this week!


	2. On My Own

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: On My Own by Ashes Remain  
>  _I've been stuck in a cage with my doubt/ I've tried forever getting out on my own/ Every time I've tried this my way/ I get caught in the lies of the enemy_

Everyday Keith had to add something to his outfit to cover himself more as the purple grew. He was past alarmed and right up to panic. He was too scared to go to anyone now. New what-if’s poured into his mind constantly. 

His teammates noticed how jumpy he was and would ask him if he was okay. He would just assure them he was and hurry from the room, adjusting some piece of clothing. 

 

“Keith sure is acting weird lately” Pidge noted one evening. She, Hunk, and Lance were in the lounge hanging out after a long day of training. 

“Man, no kidding.” Hunk agreed, putting down the complicated-looking project he was working on. “It’s like he’s…. I don’t know…”

“Something’s up, that’s for sure.” Lance finished for him, laying on his stomach watching them. “You don’t happen to have some sort of lie detector, do you Pidge?”

She shook her head, not looking up from her own bundle of wires and metal. “Nope, sorry. Hand me that thing there, Hunk. Has Shiro tried talking to him?”

“Shiro has.” Shiro appeared in the doorway, apparently having heard the whole conversation. “And he clammed up tight. I think I’ll try again though.” He came all the way in and swatted at Lance’s legs so he could sit on the couch too. 

“You are good at getting people to talk to you, Shiro” Pidge pointed out and Lance nodded. 

“Yeah, you’re like a therapist. A space therapist. A space dad therapist.”

Shiro chuckled. “Thanks guys. I think.”

Hunk let out a big sigh. “I just hope he’s not trying to handle something huge on his own. He’s terrible at that.”

 

Keith was in his room, leaning against the vanity sink, taking measured breaths. “Calm down. Calm down. Calm down…” He looked in the mirror above the sink and groaned. 

Today his hair had started to turn purple, not really that noticeable but definitely there. Thankfully his face didn’t have much purple yet and what was there he could pretty much hide with makeup he found. Who knew there was makeup on an actual spaceship. But wearing long sleeved turtlenecks under his jacket and full fingered gloves was really getting old.

And there was that one nagging thought at the back of his mind. One possibility. That he was turning into a-

“No!” he hissed out loud, trying to rid himself of that idea. _Not possible. Not true. Not happening._ Panic was swelling in his chest again. _Calm down, Keith. Calm down. Calm-_

A seemingly too loud knock made him flinch. “Keith? You okay? You’ve been in there awhile.” Shiro.

_Oh God, not now._

Keith swallowed and forced himself to speak. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just uh.. Having some alone time.” He winced. That sounded incredibly stupid. 

“... Alright. I’m going to spar for a bit, want to come?” 

“Uh… maybe some other time.” He winced again. He hated lying to Shiro, especially when he was being so understanding. But he couldn’t tell him, not about this. 

He looked at his reflection again… and jumped back with a cry.

 

 

Shiro knew Keith _wasn’t_ okay, no matter how many times he said he was. He also knew he couldn’t force him to do anything if he wanted to know what was bothering him. But when he heard Keith scream all that went out the window.

His hand lit up and he crashed through the door. Keith was staring at the small vanity in the corner, shaken but seemingly unhurt. 

“What’s wrong?” Shiro gasped and Keith blinked a couple times before looking over.  
“N-nothing. I… I thought I saw a spider.” He was sweating and his voice was shaky. No way was he that scared of a bug. 

Shiro deactivated his arm and took a step closer. “Keith, look at me.”

He did, reluctantly. 

“What’s wrong, really? It’s okay, you can tell me.”

Keith dropped his gaze and sighed deeply. “I’m just… tired. Really tired. Tired all the time.”

Shiro relaxed a little. It looked like he was getting somewhere. He rested a hand on Keith’s shoulder and gave him a smile. 

“That’s alright, Keith. You’ve been working really hard. It’s normal to feel a bit worked up. It’s okay to relax sometimes, take a breather. Give yourself a break, you’re only human after all.” He couldn’t tell if Keith felt better or worse, his face a mask. 

Suddenly Allura’s voice cut through the loudspeakers. “Shiro please come down to the command deck.”

Shiro sighed, torn between staying and going to see what was up. He gave Keith’s shoulder one last pat. “Keep your head up Keith.”

He managed a small smile. “Thanks Shiro.”

Shiro nodded and stepped guiltily around the mangled door. "Sorry about that, I’ll get Hunk and Coran to fix it.” Keith just shrugged.

 _I don’t know if that helped_ Shiro thought, a bit frustrated, as he made his way to the front of the ship.

 

The second Shiro was out of sight Keith sank to the floor, shaking uncontrollably. When he looked in the mirror his eyes had been yellow, shining bright yellow with no pupil. Gone as quick as it came but definitely there. Like a Galra’s. 

_Oh God oh God oh God…_ He felt like a band was tightening around his chest, restricting his breathing, his heart hammering. 

_I can’t be turning into a Galra. I can’t. I won’t!_

He was gasping for breath now, his head in his hands , his vision swimming and his stomach heaving. He couldn’t move, couldn’t do anything. 

_I’m having a panic attack_ he realized but the knowing didn’t help calm him at all. _Breath Keith. Just calm down. Calm down. Calm down…_

 

That’s when Lance found him, pale, shaking and gasping for air. “Keith! Oh jeez-” He dropped to his knees in front of him and grabbed his shoulders. “Keith, can you hear me? Take deep breaths, man. In, out. With me, ready? In, out. In, out.”

He got him to breathe in time and from there back to a normal pace. 

“You okay?” Lance said, sitting down in front of him. Keith slowly nodded, straightening up a bit.

“Thanks, that was…”

_….Terrifying._

“What happened?” Lance asked, gently, not prying. It felt strange coming from him. He looked at the smashed door still on the floor. “And who did your door in?” He was trying to lighten the mood but it fell short. Keith just shook his head.

“Shiro broke the door. I… surprised him. After he left… I don’t know, I just panicked.”

 _So Shiro did come talk to him._ Lance knew there was more to the story than that. 

“Keith, you can trust us, okay? Me, Shiro, everyone. We can help you if you just tell us what’s up.” 

He just started at the floor.

“You can come talk to me anytime, okay? I’m sure the others feel the same.”

A small nod from Keith. Lance sighed. “It’s getting late, you must be tired. Come on, I’ll help you move your stuff to a room with a door til we can get this one fixed.”

Keith let out a breath, almost a sigh. “Thanks Lance.” 

Even with Keith’s things stored away and he had no reason to, Lance stayed until Keith was fast asleep, in no danger of getting in trouble. Then he went to find Shiro.

He was with Allura and Coran on the bridge, looking as wiped out as he usually did this time of night. The guy was more of a morning person. 

Lance greeted them then said “Shiro, can I talk to you?”

“Sure. Hold that thought Coran.” 

Lance led them to a quieter corner. “Shiro, you talked to Keith, right?”

Shiro’s content half smile melted. “Yeah. Something was definitely bugging him. I didn’t get a chance to find out before I was called down here though. I also kinda broke his door in. That was rude.” He gave a tight smile.

Lance hated to ruin his attempt at humor but he felt he ought to know about Keith. 

“I went over there a bit ago. He.. he was having a panic attack, could barely breath.”

Shiro’s face went slack and he had to lean against the wall for support. “Shit… I’m such an idiot… _kuso!”_

He said it so quiet Lance could barely hear. But Mr. Good Example just cussed, in two languages at that. _Damn._  
“Is he okay?” Shiro finally asked, running a hand down his face. Lance felt bad for unnerving him so much. 

“Yeah he’s fine. Sleeping.”

“Thank God. Did he tell you what happened?”

Lance sighed. Always back to that question. “Not really, too shaken I guess.” 

Shiro was quiet for a minute. “God, I’m such an idiot...”

“You were just following orders, Shiro, don’t beat yourself up.” Lance cracked a smile. “Bad example for the kids.” 

Shiro sighed and straightened up. “You’re terrible, Lance.” Allura called for him and he waved to show he heard. “Help me keep an eye on him, will you Lance? But don’t tell the others. If Keith wants to he can.” 

“Sure Shiro.”

If it could get worse from there, it did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omg the response this has gotten is so amazing I can't believe it! Thank you everyone for all the hits, kudos and comments. They just make my day! 
> 
> New chapter yay! Here comes the angst~ Keith has no idea how to let people in, poor son.
> 
> Am I going to use songs for chapter titles for the whole thing? Yep. Not sorry.
> 
> I'll try to get a chapter up next week, my schedule is a little whacked lately so sorry if it's late. I still love you!


	3. Rescue Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit: I changed the chapter title because I realized the song didn't fit the chapter as much as I originally thought oops  
> Song: Rescue Me by Kerrie Roberts  
>  _This waking nightmare lingers/ When will the mirror stop telling lies/ I don't know where I've been/ Or where I'm going/ But I can't do it alone_

Small noises Keith couldn’t usually hear woke him the next morning. The ventilation system blowing air through the room, machinery humming, energy buzzing through the walls to power various things. It was annoying. 

He rolled over and was immediately got blinded by the lights he had left on. _Ow…_ He slipped out of bed, squinting, and turned them off. That was better. It was weird, he couldn’t usually see this well in the dark. 

With a start he realized not only were his hands completely purple but each finger now ended in a sharp claw. “Oh no.” He dashed over to the mirror to see what else was new.

And had to clamp a clawed hand over his mouth to keep from screaming.

He was all purple, from his hair to his toes, which were also clawed. There were tufts of fur on his ankles and elbows. His ears were big and furry, a bit like a cat’s or a bat, swiveling to catch the slightest sound. Even his teeth were now pointed and sharp, like a wild animal’s. And his eyes. They seemed to glow in the dark room, gathering all available light. Bright yellow, with no pupil or iris. 

He couldn’t hide any of this from the team. He was Galra. Keith started pacing as the familiar feeling of panic set in. 

_Calm down._

“This isn’t right”

_Calm down._

“What’s going on…”

_Calm down._

“Shit”

His breath was coming harder and faster so he started doing the breathing exercises Lance showed him, trying not to go into a full-on attack. 

“Shit”

_In. Out._

“Shit shit”

_In. Out._

“Shit shit shit!” He paused his pacing and just focused on breathing.

_Come on Keith you can do this. In. Out. In. Out. In. Out. Good._

He started to calm down a little and sat down where he stood, closing his eyes and breathing in deeply, trying to keep his cool. “Now think, how are you going to handle this?” 

Someone knocked loudly on the door, startling him so much he jumped to his feet, heart pounding. “Keith? It’s Lance, you up?”

_Oh no._

He bounded over to make sure the door was locked, freezing in front of it, unsure what to do. “Uh, yeah I’m up” He managed, trying to make it sound like he just woke up.

“Good, ‘cause it’s like ten o'clock.” There was a muffled smacking sound and Lance grunted. “I mean, I know you had a rough day yesterday…”

Keith was surprised to hear another voice whispering to Lance, it sounded like Shiro. There was no way he could hear that normally.

“Um, do you want to come down for breakfast? Hunk’s got some sort of food going.”

Keith struggled to find something to say. There was no way he could walk around the castle like this. He really didn’t have a choice. “I’m not really hungry right now, maybe later.”

_Dammit Keith, that sounds so lame._

He heard Shiro and Lance whispering to each other but he couldn’t make out the words.

“Okay then, see ya later.”

He listened to their echoing footsteps going down the hall and fading in the distance. Then he flopped onto his bed and screamed into his pillow until he felt a little better. 

Keith wound up spending the whole day in his room, despite Lance and Shiro’s protests. There was nothing he could do about it. Nothing he could tell them. He alternated between sparring, meditating, and huddling up in the corner with a blanket trying not to feel too miserable. 

It was hard.

At around dinnertime he heard someone come down the hall and set something outside his door then leave. He waited until he was sure they were gone before cautiously opening the door. A plate of food and a drink sat on a tray. He looked both ways before yanking it into the room and closing the door. 

A small note almost hidden under the cup read “Please come out.” He couldn’t recognize the handwriting but he had a feeling it was either Lance or Shiro. “I’m sorry guys…” he whispered with a sigh. He tucked gratefully into the food, not having eaten all day. 

 

Eventually word got out that Keith was having a midlife crisis (at 17?) and everyone wanted to support him. 

Hunk and Coran would take turns bringing him more food than he could eat. Pidge would “coincidentally” play Keith’s favorite music so he could hear. Lance would sit outside the door and tell bad jokes or recall something funny that happened, trying to cheer him up. Allura would give him updates on Zarkon’s movements and what the team was working on so he wouldn’t feel left out. And Shiro would just sit outside, not saying anything, just being with him.

It was times like this when the team would notice sniffing sounds from inside and they knew he was noticing their efforts and thinking of them.

On day two late evening Shiro decided to get sneaky. He offered to take Keith’s dinner to him. As he neared the dorm hall he took off his boots so his feet made so sound on the hard floor. He set out the food and sat down opposite the door, silent.

Soon the door opened a crack and Shiro leaned forward, expectant. There was a soft gasp and the door slammed shut. He sighed. Parenting the angsty teenager was tough. 

“Keith”

No answer.

"You can’t stay in there forever”

“I don’t have a choice…” Keith’s voice shook. Shiro felt bad, didn’t like how delicate his voice sounded, but he also wanted to know what he meant. 

“Yes, you do. Come come out and talk, let me help you.” 

There was a shuffling sound and a sniff from behind the door, where Keith was sitting. 

“You can’t help me, Shiro, no one can” He could hardly keep his words steady. 

“Don’t be like that, Keith.”

He was quiet again and Shiro sighed. “I’m not leaving until you open that door.”

“You’ll be there awhile then.” His voice was hard now, in control. Shiro bit back a groan. He was stubborn, he’d give him that. 

“You have to eat”

“No I don’t” He meant it. 

_It’ll be a battle of endurance then_ Shiro thought and settled down to wait.

He hadn’t realized he dozed off until the click of the door closing startled him awake. The food was gone. “For God's sakes Keith.” No answer. Shiro scoffed and got up to leave.

“I’m sorry Shiro” Keith was crying

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omg over 70 kudos thank you so much! You guys are awesome
> 
> Alright new chapter! Whew! This one was a bit harder to write at times but now it's done finally. Things are happening~ 
> 
> Also, shout out to my amazing beta @letkeithsayfuck, they're awesome check them out
> 
> hmu on tumblr if you like, I post things @emmachansstuff


	4. How to Save a Life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: How to Save a Life by The Fray  
>  _He will do one of two things/ He will admit to everything/ or he'll say he's just not the same_

It was Lance who finally got lucky. It was late day three and Keith must’ve forgotten to lock the door before going to bed. 

By the time Lance’s second “Keith?” woke him up the door was opening and he barely had time to throw a blanket over himself. “Go away Lance!” 

He didn’t, just crept closer. “This has gone on long enough, Keith. You haven’t set foot out of this room in three days man.” 

Keith just burrowed deeper into his blanket, making sure he was completely covered. “... Go away Lance.” It was a plea, not a demand. _A weak one_ he noted miserably. 

“Come on Keith, work with me here. Why are you hiding?” 

Keith felt the hand grab the blanket a second too late. It was pulled off him right as he yelled “No!”

Lance’s eyes found his and he froze, just staring. Keith wilted, his ears drooping down. 

“Keith? Is that you?”

Keith’s throat caught. He was actually asking, legitimately wondering. 

“Now you know, Lance. Are you happy?” His bottom lip quivered and he swallowed hard. “I hid because I’ve become the enemy, a monster.” Tears were blurring his vision, he blinked them away only to have more spill out. “I’m the very thing we’re fighting. A murdering, destroying Galra..” He could barely speak through his tears, even as he wiped them furiously away. “Well say something, Lance!”

He was just standing there, staring. Then he stepped forward and pulled Keith into a hug. “It’s okay.”

Keith was too stunned to speak for a moment. Then came the water works. All the pain, misery and loneliness of the last couple days, plus the overwhelming relief that Lance hadn’t rejected him, came to the surface. He sobbed into Lance’s shirt as he patted his back, his chin on his head. 

“You’re still you, Keith, that’s what matters. You’re the same inside.” Lance’s tone was quiet, consoling. He held Keith until his sobs subsided to gulps and gasps. 

“Oh God Lance, what am I going to do?” he finally managed.

“We” Lance said simply and held him at arm’s length, smirking at his confused expression. “What, you didn’t seriously think I’d just leave this for you? I got your back.”

Keith’s eyes watered again, threatening. _Why do I have to keep crying in front of Lance dammit._ “Thank you. Thank you so much Lance.” He wiped his eyes, trying to stop the flow of tears.

Lance smiled. “I say vol you say…?”

Keith looked at him, confused, and sniffed. “Vol… tron?”

Lance sighed. “Yep, I knew that was a long shot. We’ll keep trying.”

 

With Lance helping Keith out and sort of acting as his sentry, things became easier. Lance would let him know where the rest of the team was so he could actually leave his room without fear of running into someone, Lance scouting ahead. He was even able to sneak down to the hanger to see the red lion for the first time in days.

“Red” The second it heard him the red lion raised its head and bounded over, making the whole room shake. It nudged him hard enough to make him fall over and rubbed its huge head against him, making purring sounds. If a giant robotic cat could joyously lick someone it would've. Keith laughed, looking happier than he had in days, and leaned against it, taking in the feel of the metal under his hands, his ears perked up happily. "I missed you too buddy."

Lance watched quietly from the doorway, glad he had worked this out. All the paladins visited their lions several times a day just to be with and bond with them. The red lion probably felt a bit lonely, if mechanical lions could feel lonely, for being abandoned. This was good for both of them. 

"It's weird, isn't it?" Keith was telling his lion,rubbing it affectionately. "It just happened, that's why I couldn't come see you. No, there's nothing you could've done. We're still trying to figure it out. Me and Lance." 

Lance scooted further into the doorway upon hearing his name, not wanting to intrude on their conversation. That was common courtesy between the paladins, respect a paladin and their lion's space when they're having a moment. But he was also curious, and that made him feel guilty. 

"Nope, no one else. Because they'd freak out that's why. He did actually. Seriously Red? No way." Keith sighed and bonked his forehead against Red's cheek. Their conversation seemed to have taken a more serious turn and Lance shrank away again. 

"He freak out the most, there's no way I could- Look at me, Red. He'd have a heart attack. After what he's been through, nope no way. He- well yeah, you're right but-" He scoffed and gave his lion a disciplinary tap on the nose, like he'd do with a house cat. "You can be really rude sometimes, you know that? And besides, Shiro's like everyone's dad."

Lance froze, realizing what they meant. How were they going to tell Shiro? As much as he tried to hide it, the oldest paladin still struggled with PTSD, freezing up at the slightest mention, anything close to what he went through as a Galra prisoner. 

Lance looked at Keith, still chatting with his lion. At first or even second glance, anyone would confuse him for a Galra soldier. Lance did himself sometimes and felt terrible for it. Sure, Keith still had his stupid mullet, wore his regular clothes, and was tiny by Galra standards but otherwise he would fit right in at any Galra establishment. Lance shuddered at the very thought of how Shiro would react. 

In spite of himself, Lance yawned and wondered what time it was. Keith might get away with getting extra sleep during the day but it was harder for him. Keith noticed and glanced over. His hearing was uncanny now, it was kinda scary. 

"Yeah, good idea." He said to his lion, getting up. "Wha- Red!" 

Lance bit back a laugh as Keith, all flustered, struggled to find a comeback to whatever his lion just said to him. Red had an amazing ability to render Keith speechless, much like Blue did with Lance. He didn't know about Red, but Lance's lion had no shame. 

"All ready then?" Lance asked as Keith joined him at the door, pulling his hood up. The hood, which Keith didn't usually wear, was a precaution against "accidental sightings", as Lance liked to call them, from the rest of the team. Keith's ears still stuck up in two mysterious bumps so it wasn't foolproof but it was better than nothing. 

"Yeah, thanks Lance." 

"No prob" He stifled another yawn behind his hand and Keith sighed.

"We can't keep doing this." 

Lance almost stumbled in the dark hallway. "Huh?"

"I can't keep asking you to do this. And I'm useless to the team right now." Keith paused, taking a deep breath. "I need to tell the others."

Lance didn't know what to say. He was right of course, but he was hesitant, scared even, of how they'd react. He glanced at Keith, brow in tight furrows, ears drooped down under the hood, mouth in a firm line. He looked miserable. Would telling the others help or hinder the situation? Lance doubted Keith could take anymore emotional trauma. 

"Team Voltron needs its red paladin back" Keith finally said, breaking the silence. Lance nodded, giving Keith's shoulder a pat. 

"We can do it, it'll be fine." 

They didn't get the chance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Every time I see how much more attention this got I freak out a little bit. I never thought it wold do this well. Thank you so much!
> 
> Well that was a fun chapter to write, we got some angst, some comfort, some Red ~~teasing Keith about Lance~~ being sassy and is that a little Klance? Sure! 
> 
> And I finally got around to replying to all your lovely comments. Each one just warms my heart thank you!
> 
> I also realized I probably should be leaving some notes on the titles and the lyric that made me chose it and whatnot so I'm be going back and editing those in. (I'm new to this please bear with me :) )


	5. Control

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: Control by Halsey  
>  _And all the kids cried out/ "Please stop you're scaring me"/ I can't stop this awful energy/ Goddamn right, you should be scared of me/ Who is in control?_

Hunk sighed, poking half heartedly at the jumble of parts at his feet. He had lost interest in his own project and was just watching Pidge work on a new program for Green on her computer. "When do you think he'll come out?" he said absently.

"Hm?" Pidge wasn't paying much attention. 

"Keith. What do you think he's up to?"

Her brow furrowed and she glanced up for a second. "I dunno, must be important. He hasn't showed up for almost a week. He better come out soon, I'm tired of being the only short one."

Hunk snorted. Keith really wasn't that much shorter than him and Lance, he was pretty sure Pidge just liked to drag other people down to her level. Either way- "Keith would definitely take offence at that. Besides Pidge, you have the mice don't you?" 

Pidge stuck out her tongue as Hunk laughed and she set aside her laptop, probably realizing she was too deep in conversation to get any work done. Hunk decided to point out something else that had been bothering him.

"Hey, have you noticed Lance acting... strange?"

"Uh, maybe? This is Lance we're talking about." Pidge replied, adjusting her glasses. 

''I mean stranger than normal. Like... tired? Distracted? Quiet? Come on, I couldn't have been the only one who noticed."

She considered that for a moment. "He kinda has, hasn't he?" Hunk nodded knowledgeably. What was up with him? Both of them really. They both groaned in frustration and Hunk flopped onto his back. "Why is everyone being weird?"

Being friends with both Lance and Keith, Hunk looked out for both of them and that was hard to do when they shut themselves away. If Lance started hiding in his room too Hunk would not appreciate it. 

Not only that but Hunk couldn't help but wonder if Team Voltron was losing its touch with one of its members constantly missing. He'd been crossing his fingers that the Galra wouldn't attack but it was only a matter of time. They couldn't form Voltron without Keith. 

Granted he was moody and impulsive but he was also Hunk's friend and he worried for him. Keith hadn't opened up to anyone, even after almost a week shut in his room. What if something was seriously wrong and he just wasn't telling anyone? 

"He's gotta come out Pidge."

 

 

Shiro shot up in bed with a gasp, panting. It took him a minute to orient himself, to realize he was in his room in the castle. Not in the confines of a cell onboard a Galra ship.

"Just a dream" he told himself. Just like all the others. 

Even though it was only around three or four in the morning he knew he wasn't going to be able to go back to sleep. He never could. Instead he slipped on his boots, which looked ridiculous with his castle-issue pajamas, and went on patrol. Knowing the castle was secure and his friends were safe always helped calm him. He stopped by Black's hanger as he was passing. 

"Hey buddy" He called and his lion purred in greeting, lowering its head to his level so he could reach it. "Same old, same old, huh Black?" 

Shiro's lion was used to him coming in at the ungodly hours of the morning, when nothing stirred. He sighed, trailing his fingers along the the lion's surface. "I'm getting too old for this, Black."

 _You are not, Shiro. You have many years ahead of you_ his lion hummed in response and he gave a "hm" in reply. 

"Maybe physically sure. But mentally? Or emotionally? I'm falling apart, Black."

_No one could ask you to do more than you do for this team, Shiro. You are a dedicated leader and it shows in the team's performance._

He frowned, something coming to mind for the countless time that week. "What about Keith? How am I helping him? I still can't get through to him."

The black lion repositioned itself so it could lay down and still see him. _You don't need to worry about your friend. Red has talked with him and assures me he will be fine. Be patient with him._

Shiro did a double take. "Wait, he went to see his lion? When? How?"

_Red has also told me not to tell anyone about this, not even you Shiro. I did only because I felt you needed to know, to ease your worry. Did it work?_

He chuckled a little. "Well kinda. Now there's a new worry."

_That he's keeping secrets from his team that will affect their performance and their bond?_

He sighed and nodded, leaning against his lion. _He is not alone in his secret, I can tell you that._

Again Shiro was surprised how much Keith was doing without him knowing. "Besides Red? Who?" 

_That I can't tell you._

He was quiet for a moment, thinking it through. Who did Keith trust enough to tell? What was he hiding in the first place? "I think I should check on him again" he finally said, straightening up. 

_Do what you think is best, my paladin. But remember, he might not be ready to give up his secret, be patient._

"I know. Thanks Black."

 _Anytime little one._ He smiled, even his lion had somewhat of a sense of humor. 

 

The halls were silent, unsurprising, as Shiro made his way through the castle. He knew every sight and sound that made up the magnificent ship by now, mostly because of his midnight wanderings. Each one was a comfort, knowing that everything was normal. So whenever he heard a new noise he always jumped about ten feet. The same was true tonight.

It was only a quiet pattering sound, barely audible, but still Shiro's hand still lit up as he jumped, dropping to a ready stance. The sound was coming from down the hall, where the dorms where. Then he realized it was just feet hitting the floor and echoing and relaxed. It was probably just one of the boys heading out for a midnight snack.

As he got closer he saw someone disappear into one of the dorms, too late for Shiro to recognize. With a start he realized it was Keith's room. He was over there in a second, hesitating before knocking once. "Keith?"

There was a scuffling noise but otherwise no answer. He gave the door a poke and to his surprise it opened, unlocked. He wasn't prepared for what he saw. 

The room was dark but light from the hallway let him see the figure in the corner. Hunched over so it was hard to tell its height, dressed all in black making it hard to distinguish from the darkness. Purple skin, hair and furry ears, clawed hands shielding its shining yellow eyes from the sudden light as it stumbled back away from him.

Shiro's throat seized up and mind registered one thing. "Galra!" he yelled and launched himself at the intruder. It gave a surprised cry, almost fearful, and barely dodged Shiro's hand as it swung toward it. 

"Wait, stop!" 

He didn't register what it was saying as it kept dodging, not fighting back at all. He had to stop it. Stop it before it hurt Keith and the others. 

"Stop Shiro! It's me!"

"Get back!" He snarled, jabbing forward and forcing it back.

"God stop! Shiro!" It tripped and stumbled, giving him the opening he needed to shove it to the floor. His fists connected with its face several times and he grabbed its throat, right hand raised to deliver the final blow. 

It was sobbing, begging him to stop but he only heard the blood pounding in his ears. There was a gasp from the door and something rammed into Shiro's side, knocking him off it.  


"No don't! Shiro stop!" It was Lance, holding him back, the Galra coughing and gasping behind them. "Shiro you have to stop! Please listen!" 

The lights turned on and someone gasped and ran forward. Hunk. "Shiro, Lance? What-?" 

Then Pidge was there, frozen in the doorway. Lance let Shiro go and he sat back, trying to think. "Wha-"

Lance moved over to the Galra and helped it sit up. "You okay, Keith?"

_Keith._

Then it came together. It's wearing Keith's clothes, the same haircut, the tear filled eyes looking at him, terrified. As far from him as it could get, Lance between them, arms around it protectively. 

_It was Keith._

Urgent whispers to the side told him Pidge and Hunk came to the same conclusion.

_He attacked Keith._

"Oh God..." he didn't know what to say, looking at all the faces around him. Pidge and Hunk confused and concerned, a little scared. Lance's hard and unreadable. Keith's full of fear. Fear of _him._

"I'm... I'm so sorry. Keith, I didn't mean-" Shiro went to get up and Keith shrank away, shaking, ears pinned back to his head. He fell back, not sure what to do. Lance was gently turning Keith's face, examining the cuts and forming bruises. 

_Wounds Shiro gave him._

He hid his face in his trembling hands, unable to look at anyone and in danger of crying himself. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to. I'm so sorry Keith." 

Someone touched his arm. Pidge, eyes wide in concern but understanding. "It's okay Shiro, just calm down. Deep breaths." _It's not. It's really not okay._

"Will someone please explain what's going on?" Hunk blurted, looking between them in concern, unsure who to comfort. Keith started crying into Lance's shirt again and it took a moment for him to calm down. Long enough for Allura and Coran to show up, looking alarmed and fashionable in their Altean pajamas. 

"What's going on?" Allura demanded. she gasped, her eyes widened when she saw Keith. Coran's jaw dropped and he had to grab a wall for support, staring at Keith. Allura’s expression hardened as she took stock of the situation. “Explain. Now.” Lance had to calm Keith down again. 

"I'm sorry," he finally managed through his tears. "I didn't want to tell you. I couldn't tell you. I didn't know..." He paused to collect himself, sitting up straight and swiping at his tears. "I didn't know I was part Galra."

Shiro had to grip Pidge's shoulder to keep himself steady. _Keith, a Galra? By blood?_ It didn't seem possible. But the proof was sitting across from him, living, speaking proof. _Oh my God._

"I didn't know what to do. I didn't know how you'd react, if- if you'd hate m-me or-" He broke down again and Lance picked up for him. "So he just tried to hide it for as long as he could, even if that meant shutting himself up in his room. I walked in on him, by accident, a few days ago and found him like this. I offered to help him. Sneak around, go see his lion, that sort of thing. And well, yeah..." Keith nodded, affirming what was said. 

Shiro shook his head in disbelief. _The whole time, this is what he was hiding. He was dealing with this all this time._ He couldn't decide whether to hate himself for leaving him to deal with it alone or for finding out like this, terrifying him so much. 

"What about... just now?" Pidge asked tentatively. Lance looked at Shiro, Keith hiding behind his hands. He took a deep breath and let it out slow. 

"I was... out. Walking, patrolling. I heard someone go into Keith's room. I knocked and no one answered. I opened the door and..." His heart was pounding, remembering that moment, seeing those eyes shining in the dark. _Calm down, Shiro, just tell them._ "I- I thought he was a Galra. I mean- a real Galra. I-" This sounds bad. 

Everyone was quiet, listening. Keith was watching from almost behind Lance, yellow eyes that made Shiro's skin crawl despite the obvious fear, not malice, that was there. 

"I attacked him. But I didn't know it was him. I didn't mean to. If I had known..." He forced himself to met Keith's gaze. "I'm so sorry, Keith." The yellow eyes dropped to the floor. Shiro sighed miserably and looked at Allura, prompting everyone else to as well. She took a deep breath and cleared her throat, face hard and expressionless.

"This certainly is a.... unique situation. I really don't know-" Keith suddenly stood up, his face a mask. Shiro's muscles automatically bunched up, expecting an attack. 

"I- I think you would rather have this conversation without me here." Without another word he dashed out the door, grabbing his jacket, boots, and belt on the way out. 

"Keith wait!" Lance started to go after him but Coran held up a hand to stop him. Pidge tapped Shiro's arm, making him realize he had half risen from the floor, ready to go after the enemy that was his friend. He dropped back to the floor with a moan. 

"What have I done…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to let ya'll know that when this hit and went over 1k hits and 100 kudos I just ran around the house screaming. You guys are amazing I don't deserve this omg
> 
> Whooo boy, this chapter. Take my poor children from me I'm awful. I just love writing the lion's thoughts though, so we'll definitely see some more of that. Black is such a mother hen.
> 
> Unfortunately the chapters I have typed up are needing some maintenance so I won't be able to get another up until maybe next week sorry :/
> 
> My tumblr @emmachansstuff


	6. Safe and Sound

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: Safe and Sound by Taylor Swift  
>  _Just close your eyes, the sun is going down/ You'll be alright/ No one can hurt you now_

_They hate me. They hate me. They hate me._ The thought kept repeating itself as Keith ran for his lion's hanger. He found if he ran on his tiptoes his feet made no sound on the floor. He tried not to think about what happened. How terrified he was as Shiro charged at him, no mercy in his eyes. How helpless he felt when he was pinned to the floor, Shiro's hand crushing his throat, the other about to come down and kill him. 

 

_Shiro was going to kill him._

 

Another sob burst from his burning throat, tears stinging the cuts on his face, as he shoved the hanger door open. "Red!"

 

His lion was already up, growling. _What's wrong? Who do I need to pulverize? Whoa, what happened to your face?_

 

Soon after that Red was curled up around him, hiding him from view of the door. Keith had just told his lion what happened, communicating mostly through thoughts and emotions other than words as he still could barely talk straight. 

 

"If Lance hadn't pushed him off he would have killed me, Red. I would be dead." His lion hummed, the sound resonating through his body, helping him calm down. _It's a good thing the others got there then._

 

"I'm not so sure.'' He showed it how it looked with everyone staring at him, some fearful, most confused. None of them friendly and only Lance's back between them. 

 

Red flinched. _What are you going to do now?_

 

"Don't know. Don't care. Stay here.'' He shivered and tried to cover himself with his jacket but it was too small. The hanger got pretty cold sometimes. _Come on,_ Red opened its mouth, inviting him in. _It's warmer inside._

 

"Yeah, thanks." He picked up his stuff and went in, relishing the warmth and privacy the cockpit offered. He curled up in the seat, closing himself off from the rest of the world, just him and his lion, and felt asleep closing in. 

 

"Love you, Red" _As much as someone else?_ He felt his cheeks heat up, despite being so close to sleep. "You shut up..." _Love you too, Keith._ His lion had no chill.

 

Keith didn't know how long he slept. He woke up to something tickling his feet. He kicked out and felt his foot connect with something solid. There was a crash and a muffled foreign curse. Keith shot up like a rocket. "Lance!"

He was on the floor, rubbing his nose with a big grin on his face. "Dude you have ticklish toe beans."

 

_"What."_

 

He pointed to Keith's bare feet. "Toe beans." 

 

Keith figured he meant the shock absorbing pads he now had on the front part of his feet. He sighed. "Why is that so amusing to you?" _How are even joking around right now._

Lance shrugged shamelessly. "Well, you're kinda like a cat now, that's amusing right? Can I pet your ears?"

" _No._ Whatever you're trying to do Lance, it's not working." He turned to glare at the control panel, ignoring Lance's pout. "Why'd you let him in, Red?"

_I did no such thing._

 

"It was already open" Lance offered.

_You need company, Keith._

 

"You're both ridiculous" Keith snapped and yanked on his belt and jacket. 

 

"You're still not wearing your boots?" Lance asked as he swiped them off the floor.

 

"... They hurt my feet." 

 

Lance snorted, Keith glared at him and he sobered up. "You're not going to shut yourself up again are you?"

 

Keith sighed and dropped back into his chair, letting his boots fall to the floor again. Lance came over and leaned against the wall, waiting. "I don't know, Lance. That was _not_ how they were suppose to find out. It's such a mess and I don't know what to do." They were quiet for a minute. 

 

_Keith_ Red rumbled for attention.

 

"What?" 

 

Lance looked confused, wondering if he was talking to him, and Keith jerked his head to the panel as a "lion's talking" gesture. 

 

_Don't you have something to say to him?_

 

Keith felt his face heat up and hoped he wasn't blushing. "What? No!" The lion rumbled audibly and Lance looked up nervously. He knew enough about angry lions to be wary. 

 

_Yes you do, jackass_

 

"Hey!" Keith was regretting teaching his lion Earth explicatives. Literally no chill. 

 

He turned to Lance, one ear twitching to his annoyance. He was staring at him with a slight smile, making Keith lose his train of thought. "What?"

 

''Did you know you blush purple?" 

 

Keith dropped his gaze to the floor, knowing he was blushing even more. _Stop it, Keith._ "Dammit, Lance, shut up. I'm trying to..." He sighed and looked up. To his surprise Lance wasn't doing his stupid grin as he thought, just standing there quietly. For some reason it made it harder to say what he meant to.

 

"What I'm trying to say is... thanks... for last night. You saved my life, whether Shiro meant to or not." Again the scene flashed before him and he tried not to shudder. 

 

Lance gave him a warm smile. "Don't worry about it. I..." The smile faded. "I'm sorry I didn't get there sooner. It... sorry." He said it quietly, looking off to the side and to the floor. Remorseful.

Keith didn't know what to say. Hesitantly, he got up and gently laid a hand on Lance's shoulder, then quickly jerked it back when he looked over. "Hey, I'm fine aren't I? You don't have to be sorry."

 

Lance scoffed a little. "Fine? Have you looked in the mirror lately? You're a mess, dude."

 

_Don't I know it._ Keith's face feel like he got smacked with a brick and his right eye was swollen. 

 

"Tell you what," Lance offered. "You come out, come see everyone, let them know you're okay, and get Coran to fix you up then you can go mope around all you want. Okay?"

 

Keith wasn't sure he heard right. "Wait, what?"

 

Lance smiled. "That's why I'm here. Everyone's worried sick about you. Shiro especially. He feels awful. They want to see you, Keith." 

 

Keith felt his ears prick up. "You mean... They don't hate me?"

 

Lance did a dumb "well duh" face. "You really they'd reject you over something like this? You're just a bit fluffier, and purple, like a teddy bear. It's cute. Come on."

 

Keith glanced nervously at the control panel. _Go on,_ Red purred. _Go make up with your team. I want to do Voltron drills already!_

 

Keith scoffed but it was more of a laugh. "Thanks Red." He turned to Lance, waiting for him. "Let's go."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omghikgha this chapter is so late I'm sorry this chapter was very unkind to write/edit.
> 
> But I also love this chapter. Red is my favorite sassy robot kitty. These boys will be the death of me I swear.
> 
> Huge thank you for all the kudos, comments, and hits. It's just amazing to see the numbers grow. Thank you!!
> 
> My tumblr @emmachansstuff


	7. No More Secrets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: No More Secrets by Carolina Liar  
>  _I tell you I cannot hide/ An open book with nothing between the lines/ No more secrets_

Pidge waited nervously with the rest of the team for Lance to get Keith. They were all in the lounge, sitting or standing around. Coran was pacing, hands behind his back. Hunk was fiddling with a piece of wire, looking focused but Pidge knew his mind was far away. 

 

Everyone was still in their pajamas, not having slept, even though it was close to regular wake up time, except Pidge, who had just fallen asleep on her laptop mid project again. Even Shiro was wearing a cheesy t shirt and space print pants with his boots, a sight she'd thought she'd never see.

 

_Shiro._

 

The poor guy looked terrible. Obviously stressed, human hand over his mouth, dark circles under his eyes, deep lines on his forehead, just staring off into, well, space. Allura was sitting by him on the couch, talking quietly to him, trying to help him feel better. Pidge was glad she was, otherwise she would've herself. He needed some comfort right now. 

 

She glanced toward the door Lance had left through. "I know exactly where to find him, I'll get him" he had said. Keith needed comfort now too and Lance seemed like the best person for the job. Funny how with all the arguing the two did Keith still trusted Lance enough to tell him before anyone else. 

 

Pidge sighed and leaned against the end of the couch where she was sitting. She hoped the whole thing would work out, it seemed like such a mess. 

 

She thought back to earlier, getting woken up by Shiro's warning shout of "Galra!" How she was confused at first, still half asleep, wondering how the hell a Galra got into the heavily fortified castle. Then realizing the shouts and crashes she was hearing were sounds of a fight and jumped to her feet, stumbling out the door. Catching up to Hunk in the doorway of Keith's room and fearing the worse. Hunk turning on the light, then trying to make sense of the scene before them.

 

Lance holding Shiro back, trying to get him to calm down before turning his attention to a small beat up Galra choking in air and massaging its throat, trying its best to move away. A Galra that looked suspiciously like Keith. 

 

"Is that...?" Hunk began in disbelief, eyes wide, and she had nodded, staring in shock at the alien now clinging in terror to Lance. "It's Keith."

 

She could only watch as both Keith and Shiro break down. When she couldn't stand the sight of Shiro, strong, dependable, unshakeable Shiro, in hysterics any more she had crept forward and gently laid her hand on his arm. When he looked up, almost startled, his eyes were misty. She swallowed the growing lump in her throat and could only say "It's okay Shiro, calm down. Deep breaths" What good did that do?

 

Pidge groaned quietly so the others wouldn't hear and looked back at Shiro and Allura. His head was in his hands and his shoulders were shaking. Allura had her arm around him, holding him close. Pidge had to look away, feeling a lump rising in her throat. _Poor Shiro._

 

Then the door opened and Lance came in, followed more slowly by Keith, his furry Galra ears low, showing how nervous he was. Pidge's breath caught when she saw how beat up he was in the light, one eye only a sliver of gold beneath an impressive bruise. _God, poor Keith._

Both he and Shiro flinched when they saw each other. No one seemed to know what to say or do. Hunk was the first to move. 

 

He bounded over and swept Keith up off the ground in a big bear hug. "Don't scare us like that man!" Keith smiled, actually smiled, and patted Hunk's back. "Sorry Hunk" he wheezed, trying not to get his lungs crushed. 

 

Before Pidge could stop herself she ran forward and threw her arms around both of them the best she could. _Curse my short arms!_

 

Lance joined in, followed by Coran then Allura, all of them smiling, even Keith. Though his looked a little pained, seeing as he was in the middle and getting squished. "Can't... breathe..." he managed and everyone apologized, giving him a little space. 

 

Pidge noticed Shiro standing awkwardly a few feet away. "Get in the group hug Shiro!" Everyone looked up and cleared a space for him, Allura and Lance holding out an arm. 

 

Shiro inched forward, obviously fighting every impulse in his body to go toward not away, from what has always been a threat. Pidge felt Keith tense up beside her and gave his shoulder an encouraging squeeze. He looked a little nervous, his ears twitching and swiveling.

 

"I.. Keith I'm..." Shiro tried to say, rubbing the back of his neck uncomfortably. Keith gave him a small smile. "Nice pjs, Shiro."

 

That did it. Lance snorted and then everyone was laughing, even Shiro. Keith held out a hand and he slowly and reluctantly took it. They all folded in on each other, laughing and smiling.

 

Hunk's hand was slowly reaching toward Keith's fluffy ears before they flicked suddenly. "Hunk..." Keith warned and he retreats, making everyone laugh harder.

 

Coran let out a happy sigh. "We finally did it, the paladin group hug, the more important bonding exercise ever." 

 

Shiro smiled. "Thanks Coran."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoo almost 2k hits and over 200 kudos! You guys are amazing thank you so much!
> 
> Soo sorry with how late this chapter is. My depression is really kicking my butt lately and making it hard to get things done. 
> 
> But it is finally up yay! And it's nice and things are looking up for my children. Now to learn to work with what they got ;)
> 
> Unfortunately this is as far as I've written and have totally lost inspiration for a new chapter. I have so many ideas to put in but not how to put them together, ya feel? 
> 
> So until I can get myself and my ideas straightened out, I won't be able to post more chapters. I will try my very best to do so. Until then, thank you soo much for all the attention, interest and beautiful comments it really means so much. I appreciate each one of you <3
> 
> Come chat/ scream/ fangirl with me @emmachansstuff on tumblr


	8. Don't Deserve You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: Don't Deserve You by Plumb  
>  _You never give up/ When I'm falling apart/ Your arms are always open wide/ And you're quick to forgive/ When I make a mistake/ You love me in the blink of an eye_

Lance was there to catch Keith in a hug when he came out of the healing pod later. “You’re okay” he said softly, Keith couldn’t tell if it was a question or not and just nodded against his neck. 

“Feeling better I hope?” Coran asked, coming over and Keith nodded again as Lance released him, keeping an arm around his waist to steady him. 

“Yeah, thanks Coran.” 

‘Better’ was a relative term though. His head still hurt, like a knife was stabbing him repeatedly behind the eyes, and an ache had settled in his chest that he didn’t think was because of his injuries. More like the overload of emotions he had felt in the last twenty-four hours were catching up to him.

Looking around Keith realized the three of them were alone. “Where is everyone?”

“Coran got them to go when it looked like you were going to wake up. Didn’t want to overwhelm you” Lance offered and Coran twirled his mustache. 

“It’s been a tough day, for everyone. They looked pretty tuckered out so I suggested they take the day off. As for you Keith, I suggest some food and rest as well.”

“You look like you could use it” Lance added with a grin. 

For the first time Keith noticed how tired Lance looked, with dark circles under his eyes and none of his usual extra energy. He probably hadn’t slept at all last night, and with all the late nights staying up with Keith lately he must be exhausted. And yet he still waited up for Keith to get out of the pod. Coran too looked like he hadn’t been getting much rest himself. Looking at the two of them Keith wondered what he did to deserve such friends. 

“Okay. Thanks, both of you.” Coran smiled, making a shooing motion, and Lance practically dragged Keith out the door babbling about him needing his rest. 

“Lance?” Keith asked tentatively.

“Hm?” 

“Are you getting any sleep?” 

Lance stopped to look at him. “You’re worried about me? After all this?”

Keith shrugged. “It’s the least I can do right? After all you did for me. If you hadn’t… I…” He sighed, looking everywhere but at Lance, knowing he wouldn’t be able to talk straight if he did. “I don’t think I would’ve made it.”

Lance stared at him in wonderment before finding his words. “You mean…?”

Keith didn’t elaborate, didn’t want to elaborate, just gave him a small smile and turned to start walking again. “Tell you what. If you go get some sleep, look after yourself instead of me for a change, then I’ll do the same, deal?”

Lance nodded thoughtfully at that. “You have a point, it takes lots of beauty sleep to look this good.” He ran a hand through his hair with a classic Lance smirk. Keith scoffed and gave him a shove, going over to open his door.

“Bye Lance” 

“Keith?”

He popped his head back out in question.

“Make sure you come out this time, okay?” Lance said seriously, eyebrows together, looking legitimately concerned. Keith gave him a reassuring smile.

“Don’t worry buddy, I will.”

 

Even though it had been hours since Coran had told him and the others to take it easy Shiro still couldn’t relax. No matter what he did he couldn’t stop thinking about the previous night, about the terror he put on Keith’s face. Even Coran’s group hug didn’t fix that. Keith was one of his oldest friends and he went and hurt him, physically and mentally. 

Shiro got up suddenly from where he sat on the edge of his bed and started pacing for the third time. There was something between them now, he had felt it the moment Keith walked in with Lance that morning. An uncertainty, both of them nervous and wondering about the other. He pressed the warm knuckles of his human hand against his mouth, swallowing hard.

Would Keith ever trust him again? Did their relationship last all those years only to end now?

A knock at his door made him jump, as always. He still wasn’t used to his door being knocked on politely instead of being thrown open to emit a bunch of Galra guards. It was only Allura.

“Hello Shiro, how are you doing?” she asked brightly as he let her in. He tried for a smile, failed and just shrugged.

“I’m… I just can’t believe I did that to him…” He sat back down on the bed in defeat and she moved to sit on the other end. 

“Still not any easier I see.”

He made a soft “hm” sound. “I know he’s my friend, and I know he’s not one of _them_. That’s just what my mind sees now, an enemy.”

“I know.”

Shiro turned to Allura, surprised at the sudden malice in her tone. Even more surprising was the obvious distrust on her face. “Allura?”

She realized what she was doing and sighed heavily. “I’m sorry, it’s just… knowing there’s one of _them_ in the castle, piloting one of the Voltron lions once again it…” She pressed her closed fists against her chest, as if her very heart was hurting. “It feels wrong. My father, my people, died at the hands of those monsters to protect Voltron, to give the universe a chance, and now…” 

She was focusing on the floor in front of her, her shoulders shaking. Shiro could only stare in shock. He couldn’t have even guessed Allura felt that way, or how to react to her opening her heart to him like this.

“But… Princess, this is Keith we’re talking about. He has given everything he has to defeating Zarkon. He’s not anything like.. Zarkon was.”

“I know!” She scrubbed furiously at her eyes and finally looked at Shiro, her brilliant turquoise eyes shining and brimmed with tears. “I know it’s just Keith, but that’s how Zarkon was as a paladin too.”

Shiro gasped softly, hardly daring to believe Keith, _Keith of all people_ , ever compared to Zarkon. “What?” 

She nodded solemnly. “He was an amazing paladin, incredibly skilled, both in combat and as a leader. His fellow paladins always looked to him for guidance, even-” Her voice cracked slightly. “Even my father trusted him immensely. They were friends Shiro, friends. I would play with his son while he had dinner with my father and the other paladins. That’s why his betrayal was so effective- and brutal. No one saw it coming. Shiro I-” Her voice broke and she threw her arms around Shiro, startling him. 

“I don’t want that to be Keith, Shiro, I’d rather die than see that happen again. I want to trust him, I really do, I’m just... frightened.”

She was sobbing now, and Shiro pulled her close, touching his lips to her hair, wishing he could take this from her. 

“It’ll be okay Princess, we’ll figure it out, we’ll work with it, it’ll be okay.” _Will it?_

She sniffed and straightened up, drying her tears. “I’m sorry that…” She gave a small chuckle. “I came here to check on you and wind up crying on your shoulder, I’m sorry.”

“Shiro shook his head. “Don’t be, you were there to comfort me earlier, I defin- uh, I don’t mind being there for you.” _Well done Shiro, very smooth._

She gave him a small smile, then frowned. “What now Shiro?”

His half-smile faded and he repositioned himself to lean against the wall behind him with a sigh. “Well I guess I gotta fix it somehow, maybe go talk to him.”

Allura smiled softly, something obviously going through her head. “That sounds like a wonderful idea, let’s go.” She stood, holding out a beckoning hand to him, and Shiro’s heart did a little flip. 

“Wait, now?”

Allura shrugged. “Sure, why not?” Her eyes twinkled mischievously and the corners of her mouth turned up a bit. “That way you can’t back out.”

Shiro hesitated. He had planned on talking to Keith one-on-one but he wanted time to… prepare himself. This was too sudden. What would he say? And worse, what would he _do_ , involuntary or not? But Allura did have a point, if he didn’t get it over with, he might wuss out. What was the worst thing that could happen after all? He immediately recoiled from that thought, not liking the answer. He looked helplessly at Allura, standing there with her hand outstretched. 

“You can do it Shiro, it’ll be fine.”

That did it. He took a deep breath, in and out, and took her hand to stand, returning her brilliant smile. _How could I deserve you, after everything I’ve done?_

Upon opening the door they came face-to-face with Pidge, her fist raised to knock. “Oh, there you are Shiro, I-” she paused, looking back and forth between them, down to their still-joined hands, then behind them at the rumpled bed sheets where they were sitting, a sly smirk creeping across her face. Realizing what she was getting at, Shiro and Allura jumped apart like they were shocked and launched into hasty, colliding explanations.

“Pidge it’s not what you think-” 

“We weren’t-”

“We didn’t-”

“It’s not what it looks like!” 

Pidge deftly escaped Shiro’s frantic grabs, cackling as she ran down the hall. “Huuuunk!” 

“Oh no…” the two chorused in defeat, both knowing they’d never hear the end of that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who's back (back) back again :P
> 
> Man it sure is good to be writing again. Nothing like your favorite headcannon becoming canon to get the creative juices flowing! What a season! It really gave me a lot of fic fodder too so you can expect some more of this, not regularly though, maybe even a new fic or two, so keep an eye out for that :)
> 
> And thank you all so much for all the support and patience you've shown this whole time it really means so much! All the lovely comments really motivated me to come back to this fic when I was considering dropping it, thank you!! 
> 
> Anyway, this chapter. I quite like it ~~Even though it has come to my attention that I can't write romance very well at all like wow~~ You could say things are warming up now ;) I love doing parallels that probably no one will notice c: I didn't originally plan to end this chapter here but whatever ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ The chapter title song fit particularly well I think too, I highly recommend listening to it. Speaking of music, I'm making a playlist of all the chapter title songs (maybe future ones too idk yet) so that'll be coming soon, maybe with the next chapter.
> 
> I did have to switch gears a little to keep in at least a little bit compatible with canon (I like keeping my stuff as canon as I can idk why) and went back to fix a few details as well, mostly in ch. 1 and 5, nothing major though. Also, I'm thinking of changing the title of this fic, maybe to a lyric of Monster by Imagine Dragons. I think it fits this really well, better that the current one at least. What do you guys think? 
> 
> Aand off we go til next time! ... Which I don't know when it'll be sorry, hopefully soon. My head's a mess :P


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